Thursday, July 3, 2014

Courage Part I


"The root of the word courage is cor- the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart". Brene Brown

Brene' Brown is one of my favorite author and researchers. She just talks to me! She studies shame and breaks it down for us. She teaches some very important lessons. The above definition came from her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". I highly recommend this (and all her stuff) to read.  She has a new book out that I have not yet read but it is on my list and I am already signed up for a Facebook reading group about it! 

Courage= "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart" Wow that is not what we typically think of when we hear the word courage. I don't at least, I think hero's, doing some brave, something scary. To tell all one's heart...that is scary! Do any of us do this? How many of you are emotionally honest? Do you truthfully tell those around you how you really feel or do you "fake it till you make it?" It is not reasonable to expect to tell all your heart to everyone you meet. It is reasonable to have a group of family/friends that you share you heart with. It is reasonable to have people you trust to know what your true thoughts and feelings are.

The topic of emotional honesty comes up time after time in therapy sessions. Many people are afraid to tell others the truth. This makes sense because then you are vulnerable. Vulnerable ---adj.
1.) Capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt. 2.) Open to temptation, persuasion, censure, etc. 3.) Liable or exposed to disaster. This sounds like something to avoid doesn't it? Let's be honest if we live avoiding vulnerability are we really living? A life where no one really knows you, you never share your heart; you never open up and allow others to open up to you. I would describe that as existing, not living.  Does anyone really know you?  Do you allow that?

Sadly, many of us "live" this way. So let's talk about how to begin to start being emotionally honest. How to use courage and "tell your whole heart." This week just observe. Do not do anything differently but observe how many times you say "I'm fine" when you are not, when you agree to do something you do not want to do, when asked to make a choice you say "whatever you want is fine". Observe this without judgment, just notice, maybe even keep a written record of it.  We will look at making some changes next but first let’s see where we are.
 
I can honestly say that my mantra meditation challenge "surrender and acceptance" is a step towards gaining courage.  Courage to be open to what is there for me and to be willing and able to accept what I need.  Courage to speak my heart and follow my instinct and make a difference. 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment